Thankful

I'm thinking about a lot right now, and I'm thankful for all of it.  I'm thankful for the many, many good things in my life, as well as the hardships.  I've learned a lot in my 31 years on this planet, and the cool thing is that I've still (hopefully) got a lot left to learn.  I've made a lot of mistakes, hurt a lot of feelings, and did some things that I look back and cringe when I think of what I've done.  There have been a lot of conquering moments, and a lot of disappointments.  I've got regrets about the past and I've got doubts about the future, but realistically speaking, who doesn't?  The bottom line is that this is my life and every minute of it has been worth living.  I've got scars and I've had heartache.  I've got smiles and I've known success.  The true value of what life is, in my eyes, can be quantified in the experiences we've had and what we've taken from them.  It's all a big roller coaster ride with the end coming sooner than any of us want to admit.  What we do while we're on board is our choice.  When it ends is someone else's.

Not quite sure why I'm writing this now.  I'm not on the verge of a mental breakthrough, or the downside of anything emotional. Just thoughts in my head that I wanted to get down somewhere, so why not here.

Today wasn't bad.  Still getting back to the realities of life being back home, riding my bike when I can, and getting back to "life as normal."  I'm slowly building back up my personal training business, though it isn't without stress.  Going away for 3 months was a big risk no matter how you cut it, and I'm more than thankful that all of my clients have held strong and given me some slack.  It's nice to know that in a job with absolutely no job security, you're fortunate to work with loyal people that enjoy the service you provide them.

As for the bike, I'm stoked beyond belief at riding right now.  I missed the fast and flowy local trails I ride, and the rocky, chunky, technical trails that I travel to.  I've never appreciated them more than now.  With that, as far as actual riding is concerned, I feel like a new rider.  Not in the sense that I've picked up my skill level or I've changed my riding style.  In a funny way, it just doesn't mean as much to me as it did.  That doesn't mean that it's still not my absolute favorite way to spend my free time, it's just to say that if it were suddenly taken away from me, I'd be alright.  If anything, being away and being forced to go without the type of riding that I enjoy has taught me more about myself than I could have imagined. I'm healthy, able, and have enough of a mind to enjoy a variety of different things.  In simple terms, I'm more of a complete, multi dimensional person now than I was 3 months ago.  Learning to step outside of the box you've painted yourself into is never an easy thing, but when you do learn and you do step away, it's worth it's weight in gold.  Learning to "do something else" and get away from the hobby/sport/activity/whatever that it is that holds your attention is probably the best thing I've done.

So, do I still love riding my mountain bike more than just about anything? Certainly.  But, if all goes wrong, can I live without it and still maintain my happiness?  Absolutely.  The important thing is to value yourself, and value what you've got.  If you're fortunate enough to peruse athletics, you're fortunate enough to find other things to be just as passionate about.