That's a wrap..for a little bit anyway

Decision made: I'm shutting it down until December. I'm burned out on competition. Actually, I think I'm burned out in my head.

I've been riding my bike every day this week for nothing other than fun. No time measured, no distance, no nothing that even resembles training. I sold a few things and picked up a sweet trail/all-mountain bike and have been focusing on shredding and not on racing. I've gone from wearing lycra to wearing baggies and a loose fitting jersey and to a 'chunky' helmet with a visor on it. My rides have begun when they start and ended when I'm done. Just FUN and nothing else.

If I haven't felt like hammering up a hill I haven't. If I feel like bombing a downhill I do. And I'm not afraid to eat that little extra and drink a few more beers if the mood warrants.

This is all a bit of rambling, but I think I really just overcooked my brain. My training was smart, and I feel I got the best out of myself, but I really believe I made the mistake of being too hard on myself. The fact of the matter is that this year I've earned exactly $0 riding a bike. While it's not about money, that does sort of put things into perspective (at least for me anyway). For all the hours I've trained and sacrifices I've made, if I'm not enjoying what I'm doing, it's just not worth doing.

I'm harder on myself than anyone. When I crossed the line at the Wilderness 101 in 8 and a half hours, I was devastated. My plan went to shit, the wheels fell off, and that was the day. What I failed to realize was that no one cares. Sure I do, but none of the guys that finished in front of, or behind me gave a damn. I was racing me. That's it. After all, isn't this what it's all about anyway? Get the most out of what you've got.

Ok, this is all kinda going around in a circle, but I'm just toasted. I love competing, and I'll be back, but for right now I just wanna ride my bike like I was 8 years old, have fun, and get my personal life and affairs in order. The races will be there when I'm ready to come back. :)

Gotta say too, I'm REALLY happy with the bigger suspension bike. It's a 26er and I'm loving it. I had forgotten how much fun these are. Much more twitchy, but that makes it fun. I'll have a little write up on the bike coming soon.

Sorry for the blathering-just had to get it all out there:).